All Kinds of Cooks: Which One Are You?

Every home chef has the same goal, get food on the table that others can enjoy

Every home has a kitchen, but we all come to the stove with a different mindset. I truly believe that no one home chef is better than another. Some are more familiar and relatable, and others require time to get to know before seeing the kitchen through their eyes. But each and every home chef has the same primary goal, get food on the table that others can enjoy. The sooner you know which one you are, the sooner you will find your culinary journey a pleasure, rather than a curse.

In the years I stood behind the butcher counter, I encountered every kind of cook you can imagine. Here are a few of the chefs I’ve met. When you’re done reading, let me know what kind of cook you are, and how my recipes can help you get fed.

The Mother Earth Cook (no, not always a woman): This home chef is an old soul. They have a library of recipes, but not a cookbook in the house. They’ve learned directly from their ancestors, like some old Homeric poem passed down from kitchen to kitchen. Their cooking is muscle memory, and they never deviate from the tradition. It is sacred, written in stone, and the end result is deeply linked to their identity. Their secret ingredient is love.

The Kitchen Captain: This chef runs a tight ship. Their kitchen is designed with intention, and cleaned regularly for inspection at a moment’s notice. They wear a uniform to the stove every meal. Mise en place is their religion. Despite what culinary winds are blowing, they are full steam ahead, and the end result is on time and on point. If you’re in the kitchen during service, you may be enlisted to help. Just reply with “oui chef” and complete the task. Your obedience will certainly be rewarded at the dinner table.

The Scientist: Complete with notebook and highly sensitive cooking instruments, this home chef measures everything perfectly, and only in metric units. They have lots of gadget, some very expensive, and they always keep a notebook of detailed notes and observations. The Scientist knows the exact temperature of the Maillard reaction, and the joules of friction needed to form gluten. At their table, you might enjoy four different recipes of dinner roll, each varying by only grams of baking powder. Or you might taste the perfect Beef Bourguignons, the result of dozens of well documented culinary trials.

The Store-Bought Superstar: This home chef cuts coupons and buys in boxes. Budget conscious, they can stretch a pound of ground beef to feed an army. Although you can often find them in the kitchen morning, noon, and night, it’s of necessity rather than choice. Cooking from a box or tearing open a bag is preferred, but the holidays and special occasions offer an opportunity for a new recipe or two. They see food as fuel, prioritizing the most bang for their buck. It’s guaranteed you won’t leave their dinner table hungry.

The Neolithic Fire Cook: These are the folks that only make food outside, and with live heat. Flame, salt and smoke are the only seasonings. This fellow or lady is a culinary shaman seeking spiritual enlightenment through cave painting-like grill marks on both sides. Their veggie courses are al dente and charbroiled. Chances are, this weekend they are smoking a brisket, pork shoulder, or rib rack and on the hunt for the illusive pink smoke ring. Bring them some beer and a big appetite for protein.

The Artist: A flighty and whimsical chef who whips up anything out of whatever ingredients are in the fridge. They may fake it til they make it with technique or mimicking, whatever they’ve seen on YouTube or observed from fellow cooks. Extremely likable and social cooks, their greatest downfall is that they are a bit messy. You’ll know an artist when you see one. There is always some swanky music on while they’re in the kitchen, and probably an open bottle of wine or two.

What kind of home cook are you? Or maybe you’re a completely different species. Let me know in the comments below….

What is this omnivore like? Never wanting to be shoved into a culinary kitchen drawer, I’d say I’m a bit of all of the above. I seldom use a recipe, and consider even the best, just suggestions. I am a compulsive experimenter, always changing a variable or two to see what happens, sometimes with disastrous results. I love a good uniform, but it may fail to pass inspection. I’m not too proud to cook from a box or bag, but I do prefer fresh and whole when there’s time. The pyromaniac neanderthal comes out every summer, but fueled with more gas than charcoal. And there is always music and good wine.

So now you can see the challenge before me when writing a recipe for all these different kinds of chefs. My goal is to create a baseline we can all work from. For the more adventurous, think of Enlightened Omnivore recipes as guardrails to keep you on that delicious path. Feel free to use the entire road as you swerve toward success. For the map readers, stick to the directions. They’re written the way they are for a reason. Don’t second guess, and pay attention. I’ll also offer diversions along the way, and sometimes substitutions. But rest assured, if you follow this recipe to the letter of the law, you will achieve the goal. Food on the table that others will enjoy.

And please, if things don’t work out for you, offer feedback or questions. We’re all on this journey to the dinner table together.

RECIPE: Chicken Noodle Soup

Picking the first Enlightened Omnivore recipe was easy. My kids knew before I did. It all had to start with my Chicken Noodle Soup. It didn’t hurt that we had just had it for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner.

I’ve made this soup dozens of times with countless variations. Yes, this recipe does include meat. May I remind you that I am a butcher and an omnivore. We talked about this. But the nice thing about it is that vegetarians can make a similar dish with veggie stock and tofu or mushrooms or anything else that has some non-chicken flavor. Just remember to change the name before you serve it.